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7.02.2011: The Rebellion Of The Sorceresses Of Bucharest

20 years after the so called "revolution"

Read and be astonished

In Romania about 4000 women are working as sorceresses

The rebellion of the sorceresses of Bucharest

They earn up to five times more than the average citizen. Now the state is going to impose taxes on sorcery. But is it wise to start a fight with sorceresses?

29.01.2011 by Helge Timmerberg

Bucharest - Three puppets are bound together. The big one, with the blond hair, is the prime minister of Romania. The small one (also blond) is his deputy. The third one represents his most important minister. Balkan voodoo takes its course, the fire in the open stove burns, the embers looks terrific.

In a low chicken wire cage a black cat and a white hen seem to feel the near evil, for both of them moan in their own way. The hen is rigid with fear, the cat mews pitifully. There is the smell of blood sacrifice and spoilt meat.

An old ox heart stinks between cage and stove, while the sorceress Bratara Buzea chains puppets and drafts incantations. A litany of dark words, a raw deep voice, the leather face of the old gypsy in the quivering light of a gas lamp as well as some batons and stabbing instruments lying on the floor and with their points in the embers of the fire do not only terrify the poor animals but even me.

A bit later the sorceress stabs the red-hot spit into the ox heart and pokes around in the spoilt meat until it begins to fume and the stinking smoke fills the room. There must be any kind of connection between the ox heart the heartless puppets and the hearts of the politicians, for as of now there will be discord in them. And in order to make hate out of discord and hewing and stabbing out of hate, the animals are next.

The sorceress Bratara Buzea curses the Romanian parliament.

Romania is a myth enwrought country. Dark stories of vampires, werewolves and black magic. Ten thousand sorceresses offer spell of love, curses and anti-curses as occult services in the kingdom of superstition.

For hundreds of years, not to say for a millenium they did that without paying taxes. But that is over now. From now on the state wants to have 32 % of their income. For sorceresses earn about 15,000 Euro per year, i. e. five times more than the average Romanian.

The nightmares of a people which has created count Dracula let the clientele come in droves. Mothers, managers and anorexic answer the advertisements of the sorceresses which can be found in the Romanian newspapers under the heading "Occultism" between "Cabinete (SM)" and "Hostessia" for a consultation between 10 and 100 Euro.

But even politicians come to use the dark forces. That is what really upsets Bratara Buzea. "First we bring them to power and then they want to have our money", she rails against them. And when this woman rails, the walls are shaking. "I know that the president wears purple, but my curse is so strong that it will go through it like an arrow." You have to know that in Romania purple is the protection colour against curses.

The sorceress goes on. For the bewitchment of the parliament she needs salt, nine black peppercorns, a plant whose name she does not tell and soil on which there had been dogfights. Moreover, relating to the animals here, hen bones and the innards of a cat.

I am a vegetarian, I do not like watching animals suffer. Therefore I had asked Bratara before the rituals, if she can let the hen and above all the cat live? She had answered "Yes". She had already cursed the parliament last week and she would do it even next week, besides there is a full moon today, naturally making her curses even stronger. So I should not be worried about the animals, during full moon she could do without blood sacrifices.

I am worried anyway. What if she has not got me right? What if I had not got her right? And what if both of us have got each other right, but if in the decisive moment the sorceress rans riot? The cat seems to share my doubts watching Bratara continuing her black prayers, preheating the spit in the fire a second time and sticking it through the bars of the cage to symbolically prick the animals a bit.

She keeps her promise. She actually only pricks the cat, but the ruthless and mentally hundred percent consequent way of doing it is enough for me. I realize how this would go on without me.

The cat does not have the least chance, the cage is so low that she is not able to move. Not even creep. The sorceress could do with her what she wants. Pain, panic, torture are the fuel for her curses, but today it flies pretty good without, for first the cat reacts panically enough and second the mobile phone of the sorceress rings. Bratara withdraws the spit, interrupts her magic spells and answers the phone. A customer.

A wife wants her husband back who has run away to Australia with an Australian woman. Even therefore you need black magic, because only this is able to fly over the water. White magic is not able to do that. The negotiations about the fee for the spell of love drag on for a while and save the cat. And it saves me. But will it also save the Romanian parliament?

The parliament is located in the president's palace. Romania's last Stalinist dictator had it built. I had already heard of the megalomania of Ceausescu, but now I know how megalomania looks like. The president's palace in the heart of Bucharest and only 10 minutes taxi drive from Brataras witch's cottage is the second largest building of the world after the Pentagon and it seems to be made of 70 percent white marble.

Floors of marble, walls of marble, stairs of marble. Hallways of marble. Wide hallways, long hallways, like alleys of marble. And the ceilings so high that they could be the sky, a sky full of giant crystal chandeliers and for the mighty folding doors to the big rooms entire forests of exotic woods had to die.

Floor by floor the same sight. Huge, extremely expensive and somehow unused. On this Friday afternoon the president's palace does not quite seem to be like a morgue, but almost. The few people I watch working during my wanderings over the marble boulevards can be counted with one hand.

Daniel Oajdea, representative of the ruling liberal democratic party (PDL), and Ana, his extremely horny secretary, accompany me to the heart of the palace, to the hall of the parliament. Hall? Rather the Olympus, rather the mother of all temples, a gigantic circle under a dome of blue glass. The hall is empty. Daniel Oajdea shows us his seat in the semicircle of neat leather chairs, he sits down, I sit with him, Ana remains standing.

She seems to be in her mid 20's, wearing washed-out jeans and a form-fitting sweater. She has cherry lips. I ask the politician whether he is afraid of the curses of the sorceress Bratara Buzea, for he belongs to those of the representatives who have voted for the sorcery tax act.

He answers that he is too busy to be afraid. I believe that. He is young. He is modern. He wants to have the Euro, he wants to have open borders, he is a parliamentarian of the 21st century and not of the middle ages. But what about the others? The new law needed two votings before it was adopted.

At the first one most of his colleagues had still voted against the sorcery tax. Were they afraid of curses? "Maybe, but they never would admit", Daniel Oajdea says. "Just as they would not admit to go to prostitutes?" I ask. He laughs. "In Bucharest you do not need to go to them", he says, "in Bucharest they come to you." Now his secretary laughs. End of the interview.

The eyes of the sorceress Micaela Minka bewitch by their beauty, for she is not only 30 years younger than Bratara but even from the other camp. Michaela is a white sorceress. She does not curse, but she heals. Moreover, she knows the future.

Tarot cards, palmar creases, tea leaves and the big crystal ball being held by the fleshless hands of a skeleton tell her about it. Apparently people like what the white sorceress tells them of their future, for Micaela Minka is well off. Her house is big, her electrical appliances are expensive and the two false teeth between her other pearly-white ones are of pure gold.

Currently Micaela is the most favorite sorceress in Romania, she is a star in the media and even publishes her own sorcery magazine. There she explains her readers how to prevent the ghosts of died family members walking around in the house up to six weeks after their death.

You have to bury the dead with bound legs, that's it. Peace even be with the politicians. She does not have any objections against the new law and is going to convince her colleague of her opinion on the occasion of the next big sorceress conference in Bucharest. Her opinion is: as most of her clients like to keep silence about their visits to a sorceress, the sorceresses even can keep silence about the money they get from the silent.

The white sorceress does not see any problems and in order to clear things up she even offers to heal the souls of the cursed politicians from the evil curse of the black sorceress Bratara Buzea, if they want to and if they pay the fee. But these will increase - due to the tax.

And with that, almost everything is said on the matter - only one thing left. Of course Micaela Minka has read my palmar creases and predicted me a golden future. Success, success and success until the end of my life. Nevertheless she did not want to have any money from me, but only my promise to mention her telephone number (0040/745 78 67 23). Writing this I have done it. So I can put my mind at rest and go to bed. For who wants to have a sprouting wart on the nose all of a sudden after waking up?

By: DD